So you’re getting married, congratulations. I’m thinking you spent a day or two enjoying the engagement factor and then your mind started buzzing about when, where, flowers, colors – oh, and bridesmaids.

You might be considering whether to ask your four sisters, your closest friend, your five other closest friends and (oh my gosh) what about HIS three sisters. Now your head is spinning, your heart is pounding and you start to panic about how to choose and who to choose. Perhaps having a large wedding party is exactly what you want. But if it’s not, don’t panic, let’s discuss the options you have in choosing your bridal court.

Maid/Matron of Honor:

If you haven’t decided on who your maid/matron of honor is yet, it will be a good start in determining your overall number of bridesmaids. Decide which one out of the two (or three) will be your maid or matron of honor then have the other one be your first attendant. That will set you on your course of building the rest of your bridal party.

The Vibe

Next, you should be thinking about the vibe you want your wedding day to have. Your wedding could be a small, intimate affair; a huge, elegant occasion or anything in between. Once you know your vibe, deciding on the amount in your bridal party will be much easier. Keep in mind that you can add to the initial number if you really end up struggling with how to include a person or two.

What’s His Count

By now, you’ve at least discussed what type of atmosphere you and your fiance are looking to have. So now you can ask your fiance if he knows how many men he’ll be inviting to be in his entourage. He may be set at, say, six – no more, no less. Now you only have to determine who your must-have bridesmaids are, if you are determined to match numbers anyway. And if you don’t match numbers, that’s okay too. You’ll only need to determine the processional with mismatched sides .

The Must-Haves

Next, you’ll need to ask yourself who you consider to be the “must-haves” in your wedding. Maybe that’s your closest sister, your closest friend or perhaps it’s your fiance’s only sister. Make a list of those that are the “easy” choices then pair them up with your fiance’s list of groomsmen. If you still need to make “cuts” you can consider having those special people do another special tasks at the ceremony, the reception or both.

Who Wants It

Don’t forget to utilize one of the easiest methods of narrowing down your choices – ask them. You may find that someone doesn’t want to be in the spotlight, even though that spotlight is mostly on you. You may find another just can’t afford it or there may be one or two that can’t even make your special day due to their own scheduling conflicts. However, it’s suggested that you broach this subject delicately. Be sure to start by letting them know that you have several people who are important to you, including them, and determining who will take part in your special day is very difficult. Then ask them if they are willing, or able, to take part and how big of a role are they willing to take. Be sure to thank them for their input and tell them that you’ll make your decisions based on everyone’s responses.

Other Jobs

Trying to whittle down your count to your dream team will leave you stressing about who to choose. But don’t forget that there are other important tasks that your loved ones can do for you on your wedding day.

• Readings: if you are having a religious ceremony, having a verse read by someone you love and cherish is quite an honor.
• Greeters: consider having your special person be a greeter, handing out programs, welcoming everyone to your ceremony, etc.
• Procession Attendants: You can invite your special person/people to be part of the procession without the formal title or responsibilities, especially if the wedding is going to be small. Have them wear similar colors and sit in the first few rows.
• Bridal Table: Honor your special people by having them sit at the bridal table and have your bridal party host some of your guest tables, with the responsibility of entertaining that table of course.

There are advantages to having a smaller bridal party as well. Maintaining your bridal party at a smaller amount will make some of the tasks much easier, dress shopping, for example. Trying to coordinate the schedules of eight to 10 ladies can be daunting at best. But whatever size bridal party you choose, just know that your day will come together beautifully and, in the end, it’s all about you and your fiancé.